Having friends with benefits can be one of the most rewarding and beneficial things you can do. I’m not talking about having a “friend” who will roll in the sheets with you whenever you are bored; the downside of those kind of arrangements are too many to count (talk about mixed messages)… I’m actually talking about real friends with benefits and why it will make the difference between whether you become successful in business or not.
“You can have everything in life that you want, if you will just help other people get what they want”-Zig Ziglar. This is a great quote that talks about the first benefit of a good friend. Over the years I have learned that when a friend is in need I have to be there for them, it’s not an option. This can cause a lot of inconvenient times, especially when you have a business and a wife and kids and, well, you get the point. The reason I do this is not to get something out of them but to let them know they are important to me. Inevitably though, whether you believe it’s God (which I do) or some other cosmic force, when I’m in need someone is always there to help. Without the help of friends I would have failed long ago and not had the strength to get up. So the next time you have a friend in need, take the time make a difference.
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know” I think out of all the quotes and sayings going around these days, nothing can be closer to the truth than this one. Over the years I have gained many friends and believe they all have value in my life but there are always those friends that have the ability to actually make things happen for you when you need it. It’s important to build a network of influential people that can make a difference in your life. I have different circles of friends for different things and by far my most important circle is my advice circle. These are guys I can be honest with and I know that when they give me advice it will be wise and unbiased. I’ve had countless times over the past 10 years where I was stuck at a crossroad and if I didn’t have men like this in my life I would have taken the wrong path, and that’s the difference between running a company or looking for a new job on an endless cycle of failed jobs. It’s hard to find friends like this so when you do, let them know you appreciate them and all they do for you.
“Bad company corrupts good character”–the Apostle Paul. This is the hardest of my friends with benefits tips. Nobody wants to tell a buddy to bug off, because, well, they are your buddy. In the end though, every friendship you have should be evaluated and if for some reason every time you are around this particular person, bad things happen then it’s time to break off your BROmance and find friends that will not get you in trouble. If you don’t know how to do this I’ll give you a helpful hint, ask your significant other. My wife can spot a bad influence friend a mile off and after I get done fighting with her about it, I usually come to my senses and see what she had seen long ago. When I don’t come to my senses fast enough though, I know she will repeatedly remind me of my mistake for the next decade or two. So my advice is to act swift or face the consequences.
Friends are a touchy subject for many people but if you want to succeed and become more than you are today, make sure the friends you want to keep in the future are helping you get there.
By: Todd Marinshaw owns and operates a sportswear business based in Orlando, FL and recently founded iPrevail, a non profit organization focused on relief and rehabilitation for victims of disasters such as Typhoon Haiyan.
Every year we promise ourselves next year will be a better year, but at the end of the year we look back and ask ourselves, did we really change everything we said we would or achieve anything we said we want to do? I think sometimes we think it was a better year, when it really wasn’t, and other times we think it wasn’t when in reality a lot of good things may have happened that we did not even realize. That’s why it is so important to write about what you want to accomplish at the beginning of the year and review it at the end. Here are some keys to making sure this is your most successful year yet.
1. Pick Achievable Goals
If you are a coach and your team only won 1 game this past year, it is probably not too realistic to be dreaming of winning a Championship this year. Instead set a goal of getting to .500 or if you are feeling really optimistic, make a goal of having a winning season. If you’re a player and you sat the bench next year, than saying your goal to be a starter is great but don’t stop there, go one further and add the kind of statistics you realistically want to achieve in the upcoming season. Of course it should be everyone’s goal to look better than they ever did on the court and to have the best uniforms but that goes without saying…
2. Define your Goals
Just saying you want to have a winning season does not mean anything. You need to set up how you’re going to have a winning season by developing a step by step plan to make it happen. If you are a player and you want to get better at a certain aspect of your game, then come up with drills and a schedule that will improve the parts of your game that need it the most. When I was playing football in high school I needed to work on my explosiveness, so I set a time 3 days a week to run bleachers in the off season and the next season I went from platoon player to full time starter. It wouldn’t have happened though if I didn’t define how I was going to be a starter the next year and follow through with the plan.
3. Set a Schedule
Your goal will only be attainable when you make the small changes needed to reach that goal. you need to set a realistic schedule for yourself each week or you will be setting yourself up to fail. The schedule should be written down, just like your goal and the steps you will take to reach each goal. When I played basketball I would go out each day and shoot for 2 hours from different spots on the floor so that when game time came I would get to those spots and it would be automatic. My confidence went up and FG% skyrocketed. If you are a point guard than you should schedule a few hours a day out for just dribbling and making passes. If you are a Center than you should be under a basket going over the same post up moves repeatedly so your mind doesn’t have to think when game time comes. For Coaches, maybe a different off season program will be what your players need to get motivated and develop the skill to win more games or even a championship.
4. Don’t Be Upset by Setbacks
Two steps forward and one step back is usually how it goes. When things go wrong or if you are not improving as fast as you think you should that’s when you need to toughen your resolve and keep going; if changing for the better was easy everyone would do it. If you are determined this year to hit the curve ball but it’s just not happening you may want to take a deep breath, talk to another baseball player or coach and start again. You will get there eventually if you don’t lose hope! Just think, when other people are quitting because of their setback and you push through yours then you will be that much better than your competition next year.
5. Get Additional Help or Support
No man or woman can do it alone; Tiger woods has a hitting instructor, Peyton Manning has a QB coach and Bill Belichick has mentors that he talks to. If you want to be great at whatever you are doing you need help from other people and you need to continue to educate yourself by reading books. Even though my competitive playing days are over I still enjoy playing softball and I still need to get help when things go wrong, but as long as I stay humble I will continue to grow and get better at whatever I do.
Happy new year and may this year be your best year!
By: Todd Marinshaw